“My daughter has just told me they are a boy”?
“My son has just told me they are a girl”?
It can feel very confusing and distressing when your child ‘comes out’ and tells you they are transgender. Please be assured, whatever you are feeling right now is ok and there is plenty of support available to help you through this journey.
What does it mean?
When we are born, doctors make decisions about our gender based on our genitals. We now know that someone's gender is much more complex than that.
Everyone has an internal sense of their own gender identity and most of the time, our internal sense will match with the assumptions made about us at birth, but it doesn't always. The assumptions made about trans people at birth were incorrect, they were always the gender they are telling us they are - it is the assumptions made about them (based on their genitals) that were wrong.
Have a look at the genderbread person below to help explore biological sex versus gender identity.
Don’t worry if you are finding this difficult to understand: for most of us the gender we were assigned at birth and our gender identity match so it’s extremely hard to imagine what it’s like or what it even means when they don’t match.
Proud Parent group member 2018:
“I didn’t see this coming and found it hard to believe. I have never stopped loving my child, they are still the same person inside. The challenges for me have been trying to accept that they felt they are transgender and adjusting to the differences in dress and appearance, along with remembering to use the correct pronouns.”
Please be assured, whatever you are feeling right now is ok and there is plenty of support available to help you through this journey.
Please do get in touch if you’d like to speak to our qualified parent worker for information, advice and guidance: Nicki Ryan 07884 425408 | Nicki@free2b-alliance.org.uk
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